Jedi Parenting: How to Get Your Kid not to Quit

parenting

Dealing with kids who want to quit

My ex-wife called me up the other day and tells me I need to talk to my son. I said what is this about? She said he doesn’t want to cooperate and I think you’re the only person that can get through to him. I said fine put him on.  Luckily I have been sharpening my parenting skills.

Once he was on the phone I asked him what seems to be going on my man? My son explain to me let’s call him Joey, dad my coach remove me from my position on the football team.

He said I need to play a different position and it’s a totally boring position. I was tight end and I loved it. So, I’ve decided that I probably should just leave the team and play for a different team.

Oh yeah? I asked.

Yeah all my friends say that I’m actually a little bit too big for the team and I need to go ahead and move up. I just think that I would be smaller on the new team and I would have more opportunity. I’m so big that the coach wants to use me for a totally boring position. Most likely I won’t see the ball all season long.

So I said to him. Son, there are two types of mindsets out there. Do you know about them? He responded no.

The first mindset is a be good mindset.

Do you know what that is? He said no.
I responded a big good mentality is the type of mentality that most people walk around with. They’re constantly comparing themselves to other people and they want to prove that they’re good. It would approve the good at something where they have a good talent something that’s worthwhile.

This mindset creates a scenario that you couldn’t typically lose in. Assuming your talents aren’t good enough, then you will feel inferior. Rather than excepting your talents the way they are you will constantly try to compare yourself to others. The problem is is when you come up short and you have this type of mentality then you’re probably going to quit.

The reason for this is because you come to the conclusion (since you have no alternative) that you just aren’t good at something. The reality is is that you could become great at it. But you make a judgment based on the fact that you’re not as good as the next person.

Son the Second type of mentality or mindset is the get better mindset.

This is the mindset that most pro athletes have. The way it works is they are always in competition only with themselves. They don’t want to prove anything to anyone except themselves. Their focus is simply on getting better every day than they were the previous day previous week previous month previous year

As long as they see progress they are happy. When you have this mindset and encourages you to excel at whatever you put your mind to.

It has actually been scientifically proven that people under this mindset will be more creative, more productive and work much better under pressure or failure then the first group.

So I could let you go ahead and change teams, but I would be hurting you in the long run. Because I would be taking away this one opportunity for you to understand how to respond in the face of adversity.

When I was a kid I was in a similar situation and I asked my mother to bill me out of the situation. I was an exchange student with YFU. She refused to do it because she felt like if she did she would allow me to quit in the face adversity. She would remove me from one of life’s let most important lessons. So, with that said I can’t encourage you to move teams.

I encourage you to adopt a new mindset. One that will allow you to consider that it’s really not how good you are right now compared to everybody else, rather, it is your ability to stick with it and become better every day.

With that he agreed to stay on the team.
Score!

Beach Balance: How to Manage Kids at the Beach

how to handle kids at the beach

A day at the beach.

I have to tell you I love the beach. I love spending every moment that I can at the beach. If I could I’d own a house on the beach. Heck, maybe I will one day.

For the last couple of years I’ve owned a house that’s only about seven minutes from the beach. If you’re in real estate investing, you know there is a big difference between seven minutes from the beach and on the beach. Nevertheless, I get a lot of great use out of it.

This weekend I decided to bring a portion of the football team that my boys play on. We are all having a great time. The only problem is that five boys together who are around the age of 10 or 11 are pretty loud.

I have been trying my best to make sure they stay outside so that they can get all of their energy out of them. Right now, we are headed to the beach. We are headed for that blissful crystal-clear water and sound of the ocean waves.

Pretty excited to say the least. A friend of mine has a condo right on the beach. So, we are headed over there. We have to park in a special area and we certainly have to obey all of the condo rules. Some of those rules make sure that you’re covered up and make sure that you have shoes on when inside the condominium.  This is the community we went to.

On the surface that seems like it’s probably not too hard. However with a bunch of boys who are rearing to go, it can be a challenge. I’ve already pulled them aside and have had the “team talk.” It went something like this. Make sure that you have your shoes on and make sure that you have a shirt on anytime that you’re running around inside of the condominium common areas.

I got a handful of “yes sirs” and we went ahead and moved on. However, sometimes these kids have a little bit of ADD. So I am not sure if they really heard me when I told them that.

The worst case scenario would be that they don’t and that somebody that lives in the condominium complains. That would put a strain on my friendship with the people that live there as well. So I’m crossing my fingers that everything will go smoothly.

While we are at the beach, there are a few more rules that the kids are going to have to comply with.

First off there’s got to be a buddy system. Of course in this scenario I have an odd number of boys so I’ll have to triple up one group. The other will be a pair.

The boys are bringing a couple of footballs along so I’m sure that they’ll have a great time. At the end of the day these are those moments that kids will remember for a lifetime. It sets them up to have fun like this later on in life with their own kids.

We just got here. This’ll be my final few sentences on this blog post. The water is absolutely gorgeous. It is a blue green color and all of the kids are super excited. They’re going to have such a great time and I’m glad that I could share this info with you so that wherever you are in the world right now you could kind a live out this dream and fantasy with me.

Well, it’s not a fantasy. I think you know what I mean.

I hope wherever you are this blog post find you in a great place. I’ll catch up with you later.

——beach games

OK, we just finished with the beach. I think they had fun with the last game of the day which was to see who could stay in the chair the longest against the waves coming in.

Much fun!